Risky Business Draft
28.8.16![]() |
| Channel BLUE |
Generations all have some kind of unique quirk, issue, or event that is related to them. Today, that “quirk” is acceptance into society through the medium that is social media. The most recent generations (chronologically called the “Millennials” and “Generation Z”), were ones that have been raised in the new age of technology. With it, comes the ability to essentially transform, say, or do whatever they seek. But as revolutionary as it sounds, social media has already developed to a point where it cultivates envious mindsets. Although the concept of “acceptance into society” on social media can bring some positive aspects out of humanity (specifically it’s teen demographic), it’s detrimental to teens as it will often times cause a loss of self-esteem and motivation, obsessions over virtual “points” (likes, comments) and overall promotes an envious attitude, and will often times decrease a person’s authenticity.
Social media acts as a double-edged sword. While being able to connect everything and everyone together, means that so many things are intensified. Everyone can see everything. Thus, even the “severity” of reactions are increased. When teens view posts of other individuals, they put their self-esteem at risk every time they check social media. If there is an absence of any feedback on a post on Instagram or a status update on Facebook, teens will especially feel ignored, resulting in a decrease in their self-worth. As Dr. Archibald and Sylvia Hart state in their book “The Digital Invasion” about how technology is shaping people around the world, social media can easily turn into an environment where “success to feel diminished and failures amplified.” A loss in self-esteem and depression are often related to social media usage. Thus, this “snowball” can keep rolling and can lead to a whole onset of other negative emotions.
However, this can take a different path; it can turn into a competition. Teens can obsess over virtual “points” and unreasonably catering to them; a “1-up”-ing type of environment. In a survey done by Pew Internet of 600 Facebook users, 30% of respondents described to have a negative emotional state after browsing due to having jealousy of others more lavish lifestyle in relation to them--a clear display of how life satisfaction decreases as envy for others increases. To solve this, teens will comply with and cater their profiles and accounts towards what’s performing best. According to the same survey done by the above organization, about 40% of teens felt pressured to preserve posts that will be popular and makes oneself appear good to others. This is measured in the amount of likes, the type of feedback, or even the rate at which they are getting them. Teens are sacrificing individuality and heeding to what they believe will get them “accepted”.
Unfortunately, that sacrifice will in turn decreases the a teen’s authenticity--to fit the standard that they want to be accepted into. Most individuals, however, don’t necessarily realize that. As the book “Authenticity and How We Fake It” by Aaron Duplantier puts it (paraphrasing here): Someone who seems to have a life on the exterior through posting about it daily will appear authentic, but only to viewers. It’s no doubt that social media can do many amazing things. However, that includes being able to curate another version of oneself. According to Pew Internet (who in which has conducted quite a lot of polls on the subject matter), about ¾ of teens that use social media believe that there is indeed a divide between what their peers’ online and offline personality in terms of authenticity. Another poll says that half of teens see posts about events that another individual weren’t invited to, further sharpening the line between what’s true and what’s not. Their seeking to be accepted creates a contrast that arguably nothing other than social media has imposed upon teens of today.
However, one cannot deny that the concept of acceptance on social media and the internet in general has provided both adolescents and adults with new capabilities; the main benefit being that it allows people of shared interests to connect and interact with each other. In the professional environment, it can serve very well for teens in their future. As journalist Kelsey DiGideo points out on her article titled “Social Media: New Form of Acceptance?”, “Self promotion is something that is essentially required in this time for young people who are graduating and entering the workforce”. She personally has been asked by employers provide social media accounts for her employers to check through so that they get an idea of what DiGideo would be aside from how they would typically do before social media. Reach Out, an organization designated to help the mental health of young people, describes it as a way of “delivering educational outcomes; facilitating supportive relationships; identity formation; and, promoting a sense of belonging and self-esteem.” In some cases, the above is true in it’s ability to potentially develop the minds of teens.
Yet, given its potential benefits, the concept of being “accepted” on social media is much more easily capable of being a detriment to teens rather than a blessing. It can promote, breed, and enrich the connection between teens and their ability to thinking, working, and acting together, as well as potentially improve their ability to transition into the workforce. However, it has a lot of potential to cause teens to lose their self-esteem, become consumed over the pressure to have a certain amount of internet “points”, and lose their authenticity All not in the best interest of parents or teens (the latter of which may not realize what they are doing). Social media and the internet has only been around for an extremely small portion of humanity’s existence, so the sample size current analysis are being done on is still quite minimal. However, it’s effects thus far will likely permeate well into the current and future generations; both its benefits and detriments.

4 comments
Your essay explains a lot. It covers all of your evidences and it sounds very professional. You used a lot of new terms, making the reader feel like they need to think about it. Knowing you, you would actually say this in real life, so your voice didn't sound fake at all. For me, I think it's just a personal preference, that your essay is just a little too formal. It's really good, but to my taste I think it was a little overdone. Other than that your essay is well put together :)
ReplyDeleteYour essay has a lot of detail and information. It attacks each point in a very informational way, but also in a professional way. Your word choice was excellent in a way that makes the reader think to their highest ability. On the other hand, just watch out for the things in parentheses because those act as a side thought that makes the reader think off track and may disconnect from what they are reading. There are a good use of them, but just be aware. Your essay also had lots of evidence, not saying it is a bad thing, but try to fill the space of evidence with more points that really connect to the reader. Other than that, it was a great essay.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few grammatical errors in the essay, but an impressive high vocabulary. The second sentence of the second paragraph doesn't make sense - are there means of certain things that are intensified or is the ability to connect what intensifies other things? In the same paragraph, on the last sentence, you mentioned a "snowball." "Snowball" wasn't introduced earlier, which made the sudden bring-up confusing. Try slowly get around to it instead. It was a little hard to see where the positive points of your essay were, unless it was in the third paragraph starting with "However." But if so, how does competition prove to be a positive point of acceptance in society if it indulges in envy of others? Aside from all that, the thesis is explained well throughout the body paragraphs and the introduction and conclusion complete the essay well.
ReplyDeleteexcellent draft!! organization and argument are your strong points! the only big thing is your evidence you have some great stats but there are only a few. You could really use some stronger evidence/proof especially in last body paragraph. you will have to fix in-text citation which we will go over. MS(3+)
ReplyDelete