Photo by valor kopeny

     Being raised in a family where one core parent leaves is difficult, but such a difficulty is multiplied when the other must work so much more as a single parent to make ends meet. My grandmother filled in that missing place throughout my life; helping my mother through this misfortune. Whatever there was that she learned in her earlier years or even in current times was taught to me; the good or the bad so that I may learn and work towards being a well rounded individual. She knew that a father is what will bring out those characteristics in me; characteristics of a man. So, she tried her best to be that person for my brother and I. However, throughout our lives, there was this word she always called us whenever the aspects of what she wanted us to become shine through. Whether those characteristics were large or miniscule, that special word that has been of great importance to me for quite some time. That word is “Manong”.

    “Manong Coby” she commented. Practicing a manner appropriately? Wearing some nice attire for a special occasion? Being able to accomplish a difficult task? “Manong”. The word comes from one of the ethnicities that seems to be the most dominant within our family--Filipino. More specifically, Tagalog, though it is said the same in Ilokano--two dialects in the language. It means to be the first-born male in a family, but according to my grandmother, she will mainly associated it with being the big brother--or a man. I really thought this meant that (being a young boy with a maturity level appropriate to that) I look like my grandfather Typically, I would have thought this meant “old” in this type of joking manner, but she said such a word is like a compliment.

    The definition of the word/phrase really stuck with me around the time after going to perform for May Day--otherwise known as Lei Day, a tradition my elementary school regularly practiced at the end of each school year. It was vibrant; each grade performed their own dances taught by their two mentors. The beauty of the ceremony was topped off with the court; a group of selected students from the 6th grade. In my final year at Red Hill though, I was lucky enough to be selected as King for May Day. It was quite memorable after the ceremony occurred as well as before the event, for my grandmother would repeat that word over and over, never noticing how often she used it in her sentences. “Oh, Manong Coby! Look at how far you’ve come!” is just one of the many things she’d say post-ceremony. I felt great in that moment, for I kept thinking to myself that her repeating it was like congratulating someone in a hundred different ways. Though, in this case, meaning can be felt in every syllable.

    The same phrase would be said over and over at significant ceremonies and graduation events such as those after elementary and middle school--significant peaks in my educational life or just life in general. Though that significant effect subsided from the awe that Lei day had since then, the word still brings back those various memories. It’s true--one should not worry about being the most serious individual at times and especially for a person my age, one should try their best to experience as much as they can before they actually become “Manong”, but I feel that there is always this lingering need to be a serious, mature, and calm individual wherever appropriate. It’s why it is so special and why I care so much about this word; it can mean so much at it’s maximum but can also seem like a simple compliment at it’s minimum. Whenever I feel out of place or made a hiccup in life, I remind myself to be a “Manong” and make the best of the situation at hand and move forward.

    To say that I appreciate the lessons that were taught to me is an understatement. Becoming a “Manong” (as of course, I am still in that development stage) means more than just the usual attributes to a well man--so much so that it is difficult to put into words. The immense number of lessons my grandmother has taught me when raising my and my brother can only be learned if raised in the type of environment I experience. But really, all I need to know that I am doing something right and well if “Manong” is the word I hear from her.

Photo by valor kopeny