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    Being raised in a family where one core parent leaves is difficult, but such a difficulty is multiplied when the other must work extra hard to make ends meet. My grandmother filled in that missing place throughout my life. It’s no doubt that “father figure” is still missing to guide me, but she certainly assisted my mother in shaping me to the person I have become. Whatever there was that she learned in her earlier years or even in the current times was taught to me; the good or the bad so that I may learn and work to being a well rounded individual. Pairing this with an immense amount of discipline (even on the little mistakes me and my brother sometimes make), came out “Manong” as she said.


    “Manong Coby” she commented. Practicing a manner appropriately? Wearing some nice attire for a special occasion? Being able to accomplish a difficult task? “Manong”. The word comes from one of the ethnicities that seems to be the most dominant within our family--Filipino. More specifically, Tagalog, though it is said the same in Ilokano--two dialects in the language. It means to be the first-born male in a family, but according to my grandmother, she will mainly associated it with being the big brother--or a man. I really thought this meant that (being a young boy with a maturity level appropriate to that) I look like my grandfather. Typically, I would have thought this meant “old” in this type of joking manner, but she said such a word is like a compliment.


    The definition of the word/phrase really stuck with me around the time after going to perform for May day--otherwise known as Lei Day, a tradition my elementary school regularly practiced at the end of each school year. It was vibrant; each grade performed their own dances taught by their two mentors. Kapalama Elementary School and Red Hill Elementary School both followed this tradition, like many schools. What was most significant about the event was the court; the group of people that sat on their own special spots in front of the audience--the parents. Grade after grade, it became more and more beautiful. Flowers, dresses, dances--they all contributed to the exciting experience. However, once I reached 6th grade, it was my time to possibly be selected for the court. And I was. I didn’t think much of it, for I probably would end up as simply one of the barriers or at best, a prince of one of the islands. I certainly did not expect the real outcome; to be given the position of King for May day. I had been close enough to the court in my previous years at the school to be able to see what they do, but experiencing it is certainly something else. After months of practicing after school with my fellow court, came the day, and boy was it an amazing experience. My grandmother, after assisting me with searching for the right white collared shirt and pants, commented on the final product; a fully dressed with the striking yellow and red ali’i cape “Manong”. Hearing the word after the fantastic ceremony was truly something. Something that would forever hold. “Look at how fast you’ve grown!” she would say.


    The same phrase would be said over and over at significant ceremonies and graduation events such as those after elementary and middle school--significant peaks in my educational life or just life in general. Though that significant effect subsided from the awe that Lei day had since then, the word still brings back those various memories. It’s true--one should not worry about being the most serious individual at times and especially for a person my age, one should try their best to experience as much as they can before they actually become “Manong”, but I feel that there is always this lingering need to be a serious, mature, and calm individual wherever appropriate. It is sometimes apparent that my inner self outshines that other “Manong” personality I usually show, but my grandmother doesn’t make any harsh reactions to any jokes I may make or silly things I may do. Besides; a Manong needs some humor in their life to lighten up.


    To say that I appreciate the lessons that were taught to me is an understatement. Becoming a “Manong” (as of course, I am still in that development stage) means more than just the usual attributes to a well man--so much so that it is difficult to put into words. The immense number of lessons my grandmother has taught me when raising my and my brother can only be learned if raised in the environment I experience. But really, all I need to know that I am doing something right and well if “Manong” is the comment that is made by my grandmother.

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